So, here once again are the guidelines: Everything you see that is not contained in brackets [ ] and is not a blue color is the actual synopsis from HBO, found on the official site. The things contained in brackets [ ] and are a blue color are my thoughts and comments pertaining to that part of the synopsis/show. Anything that shows up in any other color was in the synopsis itself and is just reconstructed here for no real good reason. You can also watch this (and probably future episodes) on the site in case this isn't clear enough for you or like me you have some extra time on your hands between classes.
Late at night in Merlotte's empty parking lot, the Rattray's savagely beat Sookie, kicking her twisted body with every intent to kill her. [Starts where we left off last week..that's good..Apparently 'the Rats' get off on hurting people. Where the fuck is Bill?] When the dog that hangs around the bar approaches, growling, [Oh, screw Bill! Hello puppy!] Mack trains a gun on it, but before he can fire a shot, he flies up into the trees, snatched by some unseen force. Moments later, he lands on the ground, his back broken. [Okay, NOW we see some mystical being running around saving Sookie's butt.] A shape, moving too fast to see, finishes him off and also kills Denise. [The Rats are no more? I'm not crying. So, who's the stranger with the boots?]
[Title credits roll, still don't like the music. :P Images--still freaky. "I wanna do bad thing with you."]
Jason--under interrogation at the police station for the murder of Maudette Pickens--also receives a rescue of sorts. Bud and Andy show him a sex tape the woman made of her encounter with Jason, and when the action ends with Jason's hands wrapped around her lolling neck he freaks out and flees the scene thinking he's killed her. [We already seen that video...but now we see where he holds on a little too tight to Maudette's neck...damn, looks like he might have killed her after all.] The lens continues to focus on Maudette's limp body...until she begins to laugh and walks over to turn off the camera. [What a fucking bitch! Although, I'm laughing my ass off!] Shocked and relieved at the proof of his innocence, Jason tells the cops about the other tape he saw, featuring Maudette and a tattooed vampire, but it's nowhere to be found. [He didn't kill her, but somebody sure as hell did!]
Sookie passes out, and when she wakes up with Bill kneeling next to her, she can't feel her legs. Bill slashes his own wrist and instructs her to drink his blood. She hesitates and he demands, "Do you want to live or not?" She grabs his wrist and gulps deeply. [I don't want to be a vampire....I guess she and Bella need to trade places then. :P So she's getting her ass saved by drinking Bill's blood that won't turn her weird ass into a vampire.][We then go briefly over to Tara's where we see her mother passed out on the couch. Tara picks up an almost empty bottle of vodka and grumbles then goes into the kitchen.Tara calls up Lafayette who is still one of my faves, and he tells her he's on his way to a party and she wants him to come get her to which after some fun banter he agrees to do but tells her that she might have to find her own ride home if he gets lucky. She simply says "Your standards are so low you always get lucky." Lafayette doesn't disagree with her. Next we see Jason at Dawn's house being really "distressed' over all he's been though.] Sookie wakes up [She passed out again after drinking Bill's blood] to Bill licking the blood from her forehead. [Bill is licking Sookie like a dog! Or a Popsicle! :P] When she asks whether she tastes different from most people, Bill asks her again, "What are you?" She explains how she can hear the thoughts of others, prompting Bill to ask if that includes him, though once she fills him in on the details of her talent, he's sympathetic. [Sookie admits why she likes Bill, can't say I blame her for liking him for that reason. "Bill, you were just licking blood out of my head, can't get more personal than that."] "How do you manage a social life," he asks. [ We see a few of Sookie's previous dates...and I can say I've been there and done that! Sookie is forgetting to ask that favor for her Gran. Although I can understand why that is.][We then are at the party Lafayette was headed to previously where we see Tara chilling with a beer as a guy with a hair pick apparently stuck in his hair--perhaps it got tangled in his ratty ass hair that morning?--comes over and seriously starts hitting on Tara. I absolutely love Tara. She is good at telling err...stories. LMAO! You go girl! Lafayette has disappeared..Now, back to Jason and Dawn where Jason has once again got his freak on. He likes it rough, and I do mean rough. And in every position possible.] At the end of this conversation, Sookie realizes all her wounds have healed. Bill walks her to her car, and before leaving Sookie requests that he speak to her grandmother's Civil War group. He agrees and asks permission to "call on her." Laughing at his formality she agrees. [Civil War finally come up. Damn Bill, calm down baby. Take a deep breath--oh, wait...I forgot. :P Aww, Bill is going to do her the favor. So, how is she going to explain the blood and stuff on her shirt. Sam's still up but heard nothing...riiigghht]
When Jason wakes up later though, he's disgusted to notice healing fang marks on Dawn's neck. [Waking up to a new day and another woman who got freaky with a vampire. She'll end up dead you know...and Jason will be blamed because he was the last one to fuck her.] Sookie, Gran and Tara have breakfast and watch a debate between American Vampire League spokeswoman Nan Flanagan and Fellowship of the Sun leader Rev. Theodore Newlin, who is so incensed by a vampire's presence that he refuses to address his opponent directly. [God wants Spiritual Fruit, not Religious Nuts!] Sookie notices the sausage she's eating takes "more complex" than usual, her heightened senses a said-effect of the vampire blood in her veins. [Sookie now has a better sense of taste. Ut oh, Gran looks worried. Gran calls Jason a good boy, but good for what is what I wanna know!] But when Gran receives a call with the news that the Rattrays' trailer was hit by a freak tornado, Sookie's mood turns dark and she rushes to the scene.[Well, Sookie and we know the real truth behind the Rattrays' death, but of course she needs to go check it out.][It's a great cover! Who needed those two anyway? Who's the van?] Bud and the coroner, Mike Spencer, [Oh dear...the Sheriff and the coroner.] find her there and quickly segue from small-talk to question her about Bill, searching for a connection between the Rattrays and Maudette. Angry at the men's prejudice towards vampires, Sookie defends Bill, assuring Bud and Mike that he's "not that much different from you and me." ["Sookie, you're a good girl. I hate to see you go down the this road." "Oh lucky for you Sheriff Dearbourne no one is forcing you to watch."]
Back at Gran's house that night, [Gran is the cutest thing ever! And she's really worried about Sookie now that she just found a stale cracker. "You're always careful Sookie about what counts and I can always depend on that. That right?"] Sookie waits with Gran, Jason and Tara for Bill to arrive. [Sneaky vampire things that Sookie doesn't like. OH! The 'You have to invite me in' rule applies to this mythology as well! Wicked!] Once she grants him an invitation--after a bit of teasing--Bill is able to enter the house and meet the family, [Gran is still so damn cute. I really can not get over how cute she is...I miss my Grandma-ma.] though Jason remains a bit hostile. Bill promises Gran he'll speak to the Descendants of the Glorious Dead, but when the Civil War discussion leads to Bill's admission that his father owned slaves, [Leave it to Tara to bring up slavery.] Tara is offended. [Someone needs to smack Jason upside his fool head! I mean damn. Open your brain Jason. O_O!!!!!!!!!! "Thanks for making me look like a fool in front of him Gran." "Jason, you don't need any help looking like a fool." Have I mentioned that I love Gran?] After Sookie and Bill leave, Tara explains to Jason that she understand he's trying to protect Sookie, even if no one else does.
Outside, Bill tentatively answers Sookie's questions [Now we learn about Bill. And there's the "stray" dog. Sookie finds out what exactly Vampire blood does to mortals. "You'll have keener senses.." think she might have figured that one out. "...your libido will be more active." Oh dear lord. "I'll always be able to feel you. I'll be able to find you fast. If you're ever in trouble that could come in quite handy." Yeah, ya think? I've got the feeling she might get into trouble every now and again. You know how us mortals tend to be and all.] about feeding on humans--admitting he drained the Rattrays.
Tara and Jason connect for a moment [Maybe you should get a lick of sense there Jason baby. "How did you get to be so smart?" "I'm not smart at all, Jason I'm not. I'm always constantly doing things I shouldn't that end up getting me in trouble." "Yeah" "I look like a fucking idiot sometimes." "Can I tell you a secret? I am too." "It's not that much of a secret." Tara flirting with Jason...]--until Jason remembers he has to meet Dawn.
When Bill mentions his ability to "glamour" or hypnotize people, Sookie goads him into trying it on her. [At least Bill is honest with the things he tells Sookie. Silly mortal....calling a vampire chicken.] His power has no effect, [Glamour doesn't work on Sookie? Of course not!] but Bill remarks that Sookie seems far more comfortable around vampires then most people, "Who am I to be squeamish about something out of the ordinary," she asks, briefly flashing back to her own struggles as a child.[Sookie has flashbacks! Reads body language and is highly observant...yeah, rigghht. And Bill one-ups her by loosing all of his family who are mostly buried right there in that cemetery. Can't change form, can't turn invisible, can't levitate. "What can you do?" "I can bring you back to life." OH OWNED!!!! PAWNED! DAMN! About that libido thing guys.....lol.. Sunlight on the skin...I actually like that smell] Bill leans in, kissing her, then pulls away, his offer to walk her home slipping past extended fangs. [...and what was I saying about libido?]
Jason arrives at Dawn's house, where she promptly ties him to the bed. [Damn, she ties Jason to her bed.] Turned on, he tries to convince her to skip work, but she leaves him bound--and angry-- though she promises to be home around midnight. [And leaves him there all day. I suddenly like her.] When she arrives at Merlotte's, Tara does a not-so-subtle job of feeling out the waitress's intentions with Jason. [Tara lays down the law. I love what she said to that one lady before getting her another drink.] Sookie deals with her own invasion of privacy across the bar, when a drunk college kid sticks his hand up her shorts. Before she can even react, Rene has hold of the transgressor, nearly breaking his wrist before the kid apologizes to Sookie. [And Rene is coming to Sookie's rescue at work? And then steals the college kids' left over beer.] Shaken [But not stirred] and irritated, Sookie heads back to the waitress station, where Sam asks her whether its true that she can't hear Bill's thoughts [How did Sam know Sookie can't hear Bill's thoughts??] "Must be very relaxing," he replies when she answers in the affirmative. When he asks if she can hear his thoughts, she recoils, telling him she'd never listen in on her boss. "You might be surprised what you hear," he tells her [Oh, I don't think she is..or would be..] She returns to the bar, [Oh, nice painting of a dog watching over a little girl in Sam's office...foreshadowing anyone??] where news on the television reports that Rev. Theodore Newlin was killed in a freak auto accident. [Oh damn, the main Anti-Vampire guy and his family are killed in a car "accident". That just can not be a conscience!]
After work, Sookie drives over to Bill's house, but the calming atmosphere she's seeking has definitely evaporated. A car in the driveway--carrying a vanity plate that reads "fangs1" [Interesting car...and bumper stickers.]--marks her first clue that something is wrong. [And yet, she doesn't turn heel and run? Oh bother.] Before she can even make it inside, she's surrounded by three evil-looking vampires: a female and two males, one of whom is the tattooed monster from Maudette's sex tape. [And we found that really crazy ass vampire....] When Sookie swallows her fear and asks if Bill is home, the female vampire replies: "Maybe."
[And of course the credits roll...guess we're going to have to get used to this huh? These damn cliffhangers every week...of course that is an excellent ploy to bring your viewers back...even though we know Sookie isn't going to die just yet....cause Bill or
And that's concludes this episode...come back next week where we'll see Sookie not get killed. :P
And to show that I probably shouldn't be reading New Moon and watching this show at the same time, in my notes about the tornado I had written "Tornadoes in Washington?" when of course True Blood is actually set in Louisiana, the Twilight series are in Washington. Oy Vay.