Thursday, September 11, 2008

HBO's New Series, True Blood.

Alright so last Sunday I caught the last thirty minutes of HBO's newest show TrueBlood. I was debating on whether or not to watch this show because of all the vampire stuff running around right now. (The movie Twilight based off of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series books being one, and I do have thoughts on that, but I'll save it for another day.) I had forgotten about the premier episode completely until randomly turning on HBO Sunday night. So I got my hands on a copy of the episode and watched it Monday and wrote down a few notes. This may not be the most intelligent thing you've read all day. I make no claims that my thoughts/reviews/ideas are always intelligent. Just so you're aware...

So, here are the guidelines: Everything you see that is not contained in brackets [ ] and is not a orange color is the actual synopsis from HBO, found on the official site. The things contained in brackets [ ] and are a orange color are my thoughts and comments pertaining to that part of the synopsis/show. Any other colors you see come from the synopsis itself. You can also watch this (and probably future episodes) on the site in case this isn't clear enough for you or like me you have some extra time on your hands between classes.

A small warning: The synopsis below may contain spoilers that might not have been in the show that aired 9-9-08.

Episode 1: Strange Love.

At night on a rural Louisiana highway, a frat boy driving his girlfriend's SUV [they got that backwards]-- while her hand works busily in his lap [Bored while driving? Who hasn't been there? But who does what she's doing??? lol]--notices a neon convenience store sign for Tru Blood and pulls into the lot. Inside, an evil-looking clerk watches Bill Maher interview American Vampire League [oh god there's a LEAGUE now??] spokeswoman Nan Flanagan, who deftly parries his questions about vampires' historical violence. "We never owned slaves," [we've obviously never read Anne Rice or seen the movie based on one of her books ABOUT VAMPIRES either] she says, "or detonated nuclear weapons. Since the Japanese perfected synthetic blood, which satisfies all our nutritional needs, there is no reason for anyone to fear us." [Cause we'd never have any rouge vampires who doesn't want to give up their "steak and potatoes" diet and live solely off Slim-Fast. No. NEVER.]

The frat boy steps up to the counter and smarts off about the vampires of New Orleans drowning during Hurricane Katrina, and the pale, angular clerk replies that vampires can't drown "because we don't breathe." [New Orleans is the mecca for Vampires? Who knew? Perhaps anyone who has read any of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. OH yeah, they don't breathe either...uh, duh??] Frozen in terror, the frat boy mumbles an apology, but a moment later the clerk breaks into a goofy cackle, dropping the act and saying how he "totally had them." A cameo-clad good ole boy in the back of the store isn't amused, however, and when the frat boy asks the clerk about scoring some drug-like vampire blood, the real vampire in their midst reveals himself [Billy Bob--they'll let anyone be a vampire these days don't they?]--and his fangs. As the frat boy flees with his girlfriend, the good ole boy steps up to the counter, slams down a four-pack of Tru Blood and tells the clerk, "You ever pretend to be one of us again, and I'll kill you. Got it?" [And not to mention that there's A LOT of vampire pretenders! Hell I used to be one of them.]

[Theme song and opening credits roll--Um Nathan, hunny, that's a horrid theme song. Just not my sort of music and the visuals? Can be disturbing.]

At Merlotte's Bar and Grill, Sookie Stackhouse serves beer and burgers to her customers, hearing snippets of their private thoughts as she makes her rounds. [Apparently our waitress/main character (Cher/Sookie??) can hear thoughts.] For a moment, the vague, watery musings of everyone in the room seem to close in on her, but she takes a deep breath and banishes the noise. [Go to your happy place darling, go to your happy place and make all those bad voices go away.] Sookie's boss, Sam Merlotte, pulls her aside to let her know that her friend Tara Thornton is on the phone. Sookie takes the call, apologizing to Sam, only to find out that Tara, a bit of a hothead, has quite her job and is coming to Merlotte's. [There is a scene before Sookie takes the call and after she's gone to her happy place showing exactly how and why Tara has quit her job. Which caused this comment from me: Seriously, I like no, LOVE Tara. PLEASE for the love of God let her be in more episodes, and especially THIS episode!!!!] Another waitress, Dawn Green, catches up with Sookie to warn her that Mack and Denise Rattray--problem customers and even worse human beings-- are sitting in her section. She takes their order, trying to ignore Mack's perverted internal assessment of her. [Dawn then takes a call and we hear her mentioning HBO "If so-in-so says that a movie on HBO is too scary for you it probably is" which brought about HBO....gee I wonder if they're behind this show? LMAO!]

In the kitchen, Sookie tells the cook, Lafayette Reynolds, that it would be perfectly fine if he served the Rattrays' onion rings off the floor. He compliments her makeup, and she responds that it helps her tips--even though rumors about her "talent" have led the whole town to fear her. [Lafayette? I like him as well! "Peaches and cream." "A little coco." LMAO!][There is a scene here where we meet Sookie's brother Jason -but we don't know that is who he is just yet- and the kinky Maudette Pickens watching a show -well she is, he's down between her legs-- completely naked, hence my Ut oh, not a show for children! Boob alert! then Jason notices a bite mark on Maudette's inner thigh and is suddenly disgusted and pulls away from her, which caused the Almost dick alert....cause you do almost see something. He asks her about it and she tells him that a vampire paid her $1000 if she let him bite her--$1000 for a bite--and Jason mentions an article he read in Hustler--OH yes Hustler is such a reliable publication. :P--and she says she taped her having sex with said vampire--Vampire porn..dear god, what's next?--and then asks if Jason wants to watch it] Back in the barroom, Tara has arrived and started complaining that she needs a new job. Just as Sookie steps into the discussion, she's distracted by a strange force.

Looking up, she sees Bill, a 167-year old [apparently they can't agree how old he is since in the bio he is stated as 173 years old] vampire, step into the bar. [Sookie immediately knows he's a vampire and explains that she has always wanted to meet one ever since they've "Came out of the coffin two years ago."--Came out of the coffin??? Two years ago??? *headdesk*] Laughing nervously, she approaches his table. Sam looks on protectively as Sookie apologizes that Merlotte's is out of Tru Blood--they just never had a vampire come in. Bill replies, "Am I that obvious?" [A moody guy who is pale and looks like he needs a few pounds put on a vampire? Who'd guess.] As Sookie steps away to get him a glass of red wine [so he'd have a reason to be there, which Sookie replied with something along the lines of "Whatever the reason, I'm glad you're here" which made me wanna barf a little.], the Rattrays lean in to introduce themselves. [This is where we viewers learn who they are--Mack Rattray and his wife Denise. There's a last name. Seriously not foreshadowing anything at all with that one.....] At the bar, she [Sookie] gushes about Bill to Tara and Sam (who thinks she's insane for not fearing the vampire) and wonders why "the Rats" [as they are affectionately known around town possibly behind their backs] are so interested in him.

Across town, Sookie's brother, Jason Stackhouse, sits with a local girl named Maudette Pickens. He's simultaneously turned on and revolted by the video she's playing for him: A homemade porn starring Maudette, a vicious-looking vamp and a bondage hook hanging from her ceiling. [Sex with Vampires. Seems rough doesn't it?] The video is only foreplay, however, and as Maudette gets the main event started, [by going down on him while he's watching the video] Jason's disgust takes a back seat to his libido.

As the Rattrays continue cozying up to Bill at Merlotte's, Sookie listens in to their thoughts, only to realize that the couple plans on draining Bill's blood for sale on the black market. Tara and Sam assure her that a vampire can take care of himself, but when she notices the Rattrays have left with Bill, she runs to the parking lot, [Why the hell is what-ever-her-name-is so worried about a vampire?] grabbing a heavy chain to use as a weapon. [Ah, she can tell just where exactly the thoughts are coming from, how handy!] [We take a quick jump back to Jason and Maudette now in the middle of actual sex, with Maudette in the exact same position--on the bondage hook--as she was in the homemade porn video staring the vampire. All the while Jason is calling her dirty and other things while he slams into her--Oh yeah, she really disgusts you buddy. *eyeroll*--repeatedly, obviously getting off on it all. We leave these two with Jason's hands wrapped around Maudette's neck and her looking a little worried as he continues to get off.] Sure enough, Mack and Denise have snared Bill [Okay, how did they over power a vampire??? HOW???] using fine silver chains, which have burned their way into his skin, and begun draining him a pint at a time. Sookie sneaks up on them and smacks Mack in the head with the chain. [Waitress-girl to the rescue?] When he turns on her with a knife, the chain, as if by magic, wraps itself around his neck. [Why is the chain tightening? Bill looks plenty surprised as well, so it's not him. ] Sookie, to distraught to notice a strange blue-eyed woman nearby vanishing into the night, [I missed that too! Holy cow...going to have to watch this again now! XD] picks up Mack's dropped knife and focuses on Denise, who collects her wounded husband [after getting a verbal SMACK DOWN from Sookie! Gawd DAMN!] and leaves, promising "This ain't over." [after gong back and watching this part a couple of times, I still do not see anyone vanishing into the night at all.....]

Sookie rushes to Bill's side, [Oh look! A chain of ?? (silver perhaps?) holding down Vamp boy.] and after freeing him from the chains, is shocked to watch his burns disappear before her eyes. [*headdesk* Shut up. Bless your heart. Oh my stars. Denise also suddenly comes in driving a car and tries to run both Bill and Sookie over while screaming "I'm gonna get you bitch!" but lucky for us, Denise completely misses them both since Sookie grabs Bill and hauls his vampire ass out of the way technically saving his "life" for a second time that night.] Though he gruffly thanks her, [which is when the random dog comes running in and licks Sookie's face, barks pointingly at Bill to which Bill says "He's checking on you." Sookie replies with "That's just some old dog that hangs around the bar sometimes. He must live nearby." Bill gives her an amused look and says "Oh no doubt"][Sookie realizes that she can not hear Bill's thoughts.] Bill also probes Sookie's boundaries, fist mentioning the "juicy arteries" in her groin [Damn waitress girl has got values! "Hey! You just shut your nasty mouth mister! You might be a vampire, but when you talk to me you will talk to me like the lady I am!"] then offering to let her keep his drained blood. [Bill, talking about her drinking the blood Mack and Denise collected "I understand it makes humans feel more healthy. Improves their sex life." to which Sookie lamely replies with "I'm as healthy as a horse. And I have no sex life to speak of can just keep it."] Both comments disgust her, which seems to pleas Bill, as if she's passed a test.[Bill does the famous 'Vampires can move really, freakily fast" move and asks Sookie "What are you?" Sookie's reply? "Well....I-I'm Sookie Stackhouse and I'm a waitress. What's your name?" I don't think that's what Bill meant when he asked you what you are darling. When he tells her his name is Bill, she literally cracks up and has a small laughing fit right there in front of him, teasing him on his name.] [Oh yeah it's {the chain} silver. Werewolves and silver...he's not a werewolf, but I am sure now that this show will include those creatures as well.] He asks her to keep his weakness to silver a secret, and she agrees before abruptly returning to work. [Where is Sam anyway? Didn't he run after Sookie? OH, there he is...after the fact. *serious plot shadowing perhaps???*] Sam waits for her outside the bar, and inside, Tara has managed to bully her way into a new job pouring drinks. [Tara, in response to Bill telling her that it would only be a matter of time before she went off on a customer, "I only go off on stupid people." Sam replies with: "Most of my customers are stupid people." Nice negotiations there Tara dear. And yes, that IS {Tara knowing how to make whiskey sours for her mom since forth grade} fucked up!] When Jason enters the bar [Oh, Jason....Sookie's brother....Mr. freaky with the chick who screwed a vampire and was ~disgusted~. *barf* ], appearing nervous and looking for Sookie, Tara softens and says hello, but she immediately scoffs when Jason starts flirting with Dawn.

Sookie goes home and tells her Gran [ cute.] about meeting Bill, leaving out the part about the parking lot brawl. In bed, [Tina...Russian blue with a huge purr!] [I do believe Sookie is dreaming right about now.] she has a dream [Yep. Thought so.]that Bill waits outside her window [There's Bill, standing in Sookie's yard...], but when she comes down to see him, thinking they'll have sex, [I think she wants to get Bill] he extends his fangs to bite her. Unsettled, she wakes up before his teeth sink in.

The next morning, Jason comes by the house to reprimand Sookie for fighting with the Rattrays; Word is already making its way around town. She shoots back that they were gong to kill Bill [volume one or two??], and though Jason doesn't understand why she'd want to help a vampire, this ends the argument. Over breakfast, Gran answers the a phone call and hears that Maudette Pickens was found strangled in her apartment. [Someone ends up dead...there's a big surprise considering its a show with Vampires. Maudette Pickens aka girl who got freaky with a vampire and Jason was "disgusted" by.] Jason seems angry and frightened at the news.[Jason knows way too much about fangbangs and special hookers. ;)--on Sookie's disgust that she's working her ass off at the bar and hookers can get a $1000 just for laying there--Sookie! $10/hr is good money for what you're doing woman!] [Sookie can tell something is up with her brother and tries to listen to his mind but of course he wants to keeps his secrets even from darling sis.] He leaves for work, but later the police pull up to his road crew to question him about Maudette. Sheriff Bud Dearborne and Detective Andy Bellefleur feel him out before eventually telling him they found a video tape of him having sex with the victim on the night of the murder. [Since when did being caught on tape having sex become illegal?]

As Sookie puts on her makeup before work, Gran asks her whether she thinks Bill was around during the Civil War. [Gran has a thing for the Civil War?] Her historical group, [Oh...that's why.] the Descendants of the Glorious Dead [another interesting name for you!], would certainly love to hear a first-person account of the war. Sookie, amused, promises to ask. [There is a little scene between Lafayette and Tina that I love, this happens also to be where I came in on Sunday night.] She gets to Merlotte's just in time to hear all her coworkers discussing Jason's arrest. Frightened--and furious that she's the last person to know ["I am not physic!" No, but you can hear people's thoughts! Which is very different. Thankfully.]-- she demands that Jason's friends, Rene Lenier and Hoyt Fortenberry, fill her in on the details. [Sookie, talking about Jason--"He is selfish, egotistical and a horn dog. But he's not a killer!" Not the words I'd use to describe my brother. Perhaps cause he's not any of those but still....] Just as she becomes so worked up that the thoughts in the room start to overwhelm her, Bill walks into the bar. [Vamp boy Bill is back! Wonder if she'll remember to ask that thing for her Gran? And man are people judgmental in this little town!] When she greets him, [By commenting on how cold his hands are, which Bill replies with "Yes I'm afraid I'm not as warm as the men you must be accustom to." and, if you can believe it, Sookie answers "What men?" Can she sound any more pathetic? And desperate?] he asks, "What are you?" The vampire has picked up that she's different, [Sookie is an unusual name.] but only asks if he can visit her at her home. [She didn't know what call on her meant.] She consents and then remembers her Gran's request [And she did remember her Gran! Good girl, didn't loose all mental capacity around a vampire.] and asks him, "Would you mind meeting me at the back of the bar when I get off at, probably around 1:30?" Bill agrees but, feeling uncomfortable under the gaze of everyone in the bar, [DAMN! Every person is staring at them! She {Sookie} really is something.] decides to leave.

As soon as Bill is gone, Sam pulls Sookie into his office and admonishes her for associating with a vampire: "What do you have, a death wish?" Before she can finish her retort, Tara bursts through the door and delivers a similar message. Hearing their thoughts--Sam's love for her [Sam, just tell her you love her already. Please? I don't think I could stand another show where someone pines for another character for the first three seasons!!!!!!!!! And why does he keep calling her Cher? Is he suppose to be saying chere? Or maybe cheri? The second would make sense since they are in Louisiana and French has been spoken down there from time to time.] and Tara's concern for Jason--Sookie finally loses her cool and, yelling that she can take care of herself, slams the door on her way out.

Later that night, as she's leaving work, [Sam asks if he should wait with her but she says No and Sam goes home--LMAO! Sam lives next to his bar...I missed that last night. {Meaning Sunday night of course}] Sookie notices a beat-up car [the same one that almost ran her down the night before] in the parking lot, and just as she places her recognition of it, the Rattrays jump from the shadows and knock her down, kicking viciously. They have every intent to kill her, but all she can do is curl into a fetal position [Guess Sookie can't take care of herself...where's Bill? Surely he'll step in and save the day night?] as she spits up blood. [End credits then roll.] [Nope, apparently the writers want to leave us with the Rat's beating Sookie up....until next week!]

And there you would have a basic run down of the first episode. There is a great chance that there will be a run down of this coming Sunday's episode as well. Probably won't be posted until Monday or later on in the week.

Feel free to comment with your thoughts about the show, or about my thoughts/comments on the show.

Until next time.

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