Monday, January 11, 2010

Being sick doesn't help you know....'s even bad for your health so I am told.

I usually don't get sick. My immune system is pretty rocking, unlike my metabolism. *grrr* It generally takes a lot to get me sick as I have the tenancy to pass on viruses to others and not actually be effected myself. For some reason though, when I went to see The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus on Friday night having quickly made a pit stop at Wendy's for something quick and cheap so we didn't have to spend over $20 on snacks at the theater (oh that in itself can be quite the rant) I walked out of the theater after the movie with a small tickle in the back of my throat.

I've never liked small tickles. Anywhere. I even knew what this small tickle was hinting at. I told S about it while driving home (he's in another state for his doctor appointment from his surgery thing) and said I was not happy about it at all. S told me to take a hot shower when I got home and go to bed. I pretty much did that, but in addition I took some Children's Tylenol (works better on me then the adult stuff I do not know why) wrapped my throat with a scarf and went to bed with a hat on.

But sure enough, the next morning dawned with me feeling like a few 100 ton Semi-Trucks ran my ass over, forgot something at the distribution center, turned around, ran me over again and then for giggles ran me over on the way back out. I had the classic symptoms of the flu. Which I haven't gotten in over ten years. The last time I got it, my immune system was down because I had just given birth to my son....this time my immune system was down because I was overly stressed about S's trip to the doctor. But not for the reasons you might think.....

The surgery went well. In case I failed to mention that before hand, no problems, S was up and moving and doing everything he should have been doing just hours after the surgery and he was released the next day. Of course we had to stay in the area for that week until the one week appointment where we were given the okay to go home, which we obviously did.

Now almost a month later, because of something un-surgery related that happened the first trip and the fact that I couldn't make this trip with S, my stress levels have been at their peak---actually they probably could go higher, but that could mean hospital time for me. Which is never good, for me, the nurses or the doctors.

Let me take you back to about November of 2009. Perhaps even October, I'm not sure exactly how long before the surgery to be honest, but that's where this story is starting--officially at least. S is online at a diabetes chat room and someone asks for some information. S shares the information with this person because that's the kind of guy he is and he had it to share. This person takes an interest in S and continues to chat about diabetic stuff since it's a common theme. Shortly after S learns a lot more about this person as they have emailed and chatted in a friendly manner for a bit now. He finds out this person just recently had a baby and is engaged to the baby's father who turns out to be an old friend of S's from his high school days. Shortly after that, S receives an email from old friend's soon to be wife and thinking it was baby pictures and knowing how I enjoy baby pictures he has me come over to look. They weren't baby pictures. They were naked pictures of his friend's wife to be and they weren't mistakenly sent to S either. She wrote "S- hope you enjoy something different, love E" S pales because, well let's face it, having some woman sending you naked pictures of themselves while your sweetie is standing right there isn't exactly high on the to-do list.

S deletes the email not quite sure why she would send him that and doesn't talk to her for awhile. She however knows about the upcoming surgery and keeps asking questions about where he'll be staying and if he needs someone there with him. He tells her that his wife (me) will be there with him as well as his mother. Somewhere in that statement she decides that I am S's ex. He tries a few times to correct her, but she's not listening or something. We're not sure, but we're feeling a bit uncomfortable with the whole situation.

S talks to his friend about E and finds out that E has a history of mental problems. S's friend and E's parents are kept in the loop about her activities towards S. E keeps telling S that she wants to meet him. S tells her that I am not his ex and that he loves me very much and has absolutely no interest in meeting her. Shortly after S gets a text where she states that the baby is asleep and she has alcohol and a knife. S contacts his friend (D) and informs him of what is happening and D takes care of it.

Fast forward to December 19. E decides she is going to drive to Lubbock. When she gets there she decides to call every hotel in Lubbock asking for S and tracks down which hotel we are staying at. She was nice enough to inform S that she was in the area and was coming over to meet him. S isn't happy nor am I but because we don't want to upset S's mother (who also went through surgery remember) S meets E at the restaurant next door to the hotel. He does this on his own since we have no idea how she'd react to me. S returns after throwing away the stuff she gave him after about half an hour and we talk about what we can do about this problem.

E sends S an email:
Hey S,
How are you feeling? I'm good, just tired and stiff from being in the car most of the day. I enjoyed getting the chance to finally meet you. I wasn't sure if we ever would with all the problems we've been having. I really hope I didn't cause you any problems with your ex and your mom. That's the last thing you need is them jumping your ass just because you went to meet a friend that they didn't know; I'm sorry but I think that's pretty fucked up. You're an adult just like them, although I know you're more responsible and trustworthy than they'll ever be. Anyway, I hope you liked the pictures; those were some of the better ones I could find. I look like a lawyer in my senior picture. LOL! Oh, well. It could've been worse. Btw, I think my senior pic is on MySpace. I know there's a few of R when she was 13 or 14 but she looks like she could pass for 17 or 18. Believe me, makeup does alot. I wish I didn't have my braces in my 9th grade prom pic. They didn't really tie in very well with the dress I wore. On the plus side, if I had not gotten them, I wouldn't have the smile I have today. I hope you had a good time like I did today, even though we didn't do anything except walk around Wal-Mart.
I know I've been changing the topic alot but what do you think Sjr (our son) will say when he meets me? I'm just a little nervous, you know? He's never met me, just seen some pics of me from high school. I think he's noticed that you're happier now. I'm not sure what made you so happy to talk to me, though. I mean, before T introduced us, I was a total stranger to you and vice versa but now we've become pretty good friends. Things sure do change fast. I just hope he won't be disappointed. I don't know what he thinks about our age difference since I'm closer to his age than yours. It's not a big deal to me but it might be to him. I'm sure he's a nice young man but from what I've heard about all of the trouble he's given you lately, I think he'll be exactly like his dad (not to say that it's a bad thing).
I thought that blanket would come in very handy for you. I know you're pretty uncomfortable right now so I thought something soft and warm might help you relax a little. I wasn't very sure about the color but, unfortunately, it was the only color they had. Try to behave yourself and take it easy, ok? The less stressed you are, the more relaxed you'll be and the faster you'll heal. Trust me, just take things slow and you'll be fine; I could tell that you were in a lot of pain earlier just by looking at your face. Facial expressions can say much more than words because you can tell almost instantly when something's wrong. I don't know if you've heard of this but there's a psychological technique called guided imagery. It's the same thing psychologists use to reduce stress and help manage pain; they tell you to do something relaxing: "Picture yourself on a warm beach, either with a loved one or by yourself, listening to the waves. You can smell the salt water, feel the warmth of the sun on your body, hear the waves lapping along the edge of the beach, see the sunset and the colors on the water..." or "Imagine yourself lying on a cool bed of grass with sounds of rushing water from a nearby stream. It's a nice sunny, breezy day. You turn to see a patch of blue wildflowers in bloom and can smell their fragrance..."
It usually takes to between 10 to 15 minutes to complete but sometimes it doesn't even take that long, depending on how stressed an individual is or how much pain they're in. You can also listen to some soft music, keep yourself comfortable, or dim the lights, if this helps you. I've used this technique a few times while I was working in the assisted living facility because either the individual didn't want to get addicted to pain meds or the meds weren't working. You can ask someone to help you or you can do this on your own. Even doing this in the shower, with the warm water relax your muscles, it works really well. I've had to do this on my own because of my own stress or pain level. It may be kinda tough at first but think about something that relaxes you and it'll be a little easier because you're not thinking about it as much. Try this later and see if you feel any better; your mom may even find this helpful. Well, I have to go so I can get some of these gifts wrapped but I'm sure you'll see me later. I'll be here later if you want to talk but I'll have my cell phone with me as well. Talk to you later!

Thankfully she thinks we live in a different city than we do and our son knows nothing of this. He doesn't need the added stress and there is no reason he has to know. D of course was informed and he's trying his best to keep her from stalking S further, but he can't always be around her and keep an eye on her.

S told her that because our insurance has changed he could no longer go to the Dr. in Lubbock and has to go to a different dr which isn't a complete lie. He's not in Lubbock but the fear that she'll try to track him down is still there for both of us. She's not mentally stable enough to just be ignored, she's already threatened suicide once when we tried to tell her to go away. Getting the police and other officials involved isn't going to help matter either sadly.

She lives in the Southern part of the state close to Texas with her fiance and baby, far away from us thankfully but that doesn't mean she won't suddenly decide to go to where she thinks we or rather S is and try to track him down. Doesn't mean that when I'm in Lubbock or any part of that particular area I won't be looking over my shoulder wondering if some psycho is going to come out of the bushes yelling at me.

Obviously this has caused some stress on both S and I and on our relationship. We however have just celebrated our 3 year anniversary on the 6th of January.

What really upsets me is the fact it's out of my hands as to what happens. S cannot in good mind block this woman and never talk to her again for fear she will kill herself over it. D cannot keep an eye on her 24-7 nor can her parents and she acts perfectly sane to those who don't know her real well. I have no idea what to do or what I can do to not stress about it. It upsets me on so many levels and angers me on so many more.

This is sadly why I am sick. Although I feel a bit better today than I have over the weekend, still light headed and a bit sore, my voice sounds horrid although it doesn't hurt to swallow anymore or talk.

S won't be home until tomorrow. I'm not even sure if he'd tell me if she tracked him down again for fear of stressing me out more and making me cry. S does hate it when I cry. I hate it when I cry, can't breathe out of my nose and it drips too.

The movie by the way was great, I really did enjoy it and spending some time with the son. We're excited for Alice in Wonderland to come out this March and are going to try to see it in 3D. We saw Avatar awhile ago in 3D (kept the damn $3.50 glasses too!) and loved it.

Aside from this stalking problem, all is well. Find out tomorrow what the dr thinks about S's one month from surgery profile. S has lost quite a bit of weight and I'm both proud and jealous of him. Guys always loose weight faster and easier than us girls. Stupid DNA making us gals keep extra weight because we can bear children and that weight might be needed in case of a sudden famine while we're pregnant. *sigh*

I need to get back to bed before I over do it out here and just make myself sicker.

Hope everyone had a good New Year and Christmas.